The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
