He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
