I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
