You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
