btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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