Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize