The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
