woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
