You really coming over, don't trick.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
jump out the window naked night went bad
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
