The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
