He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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