He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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