So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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