Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish i was in the wii world.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
