I hate your face
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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