you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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