is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
