I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
