Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she smelled like a LAN party
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
