Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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