i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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