I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
