"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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