How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize