he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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