Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
