and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
