I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
