If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
