quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
