whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
No subtext here. People are naked.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
