The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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