How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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