how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
What a dumb baby whore.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
