And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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