I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
