If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
