i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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