If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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