Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize