I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
