you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
