new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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