I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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