I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
