some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
