i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
