i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
