i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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