Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
