It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
