there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
