come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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