Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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