Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
