Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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