I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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