Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
