He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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