Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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