he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
