Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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