Yo dont text me then not text me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
